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Speaking

【Flattery】Flattery is like perfume: the idea is to smell it, not to swallow it.

【Communication】In 1963, Adlai E. Stevenson spoke to the students at Princeton University. “I understand I am here to speak and you are here to listen,” he said. “Let’s hope we both finish at the same time.”

【Communication】There is a story about a man who wanted to train his mule. The first thing he did was to pick up a big stick and hit the mule a resounding wallop between the ears. As the mule staggered about, someone said to the owner, “What is the matter? Why did you do that?” And the man said, “In order to teach a mule, you must first get his attention.”

That may not be true of mules, but there is a good deal of truth in it when dealing with humans. For any communication to be effective, interest must first be awakened.

【Clarity in Communication】If Jesus came to certain theological schools today and asked the professors, “Wnd you, who do you think I am?” what do you think they might reply?

Some might answer, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the kerygma in which we recognize the ultimate significance of our interpersonal relations.”

And Jesus would probably say, “What?”

【Clarity in Communication】”The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” –Mark Twain

【Clarity in Communication】A stranger was walking down a residential street and noticed a man struggling with a washing machine at the doorway of his house. When the newcomer volunteered to help, the homeowner was overjoyed,and the two men together began to work and struggle with the bulky appliance. After several minutes of fruitless effort the two stopped and just stared at each other in frustration. They looked as if they were on the verge of total exhaustion.

Finally, when they had caught their breath, the first man said to the homeowner: “We’ll never get this washing machine in there!” To which the homeowner replied: “In? I’m trying to move it out of here!”

【Lack of Communication】The story is told of two businessmen, an American and a Frenchman, who met on a transatlantic voyage. As the American was seated for lunch with the Frenchman, the later raised his wine glass and said, “Bon appetit.” To which the smiling American replied, “Johnson.” Since neither spoke the other’s language, no other words were exchanged during the meal. After the same thing happened at dinner, an observant waiter later explained to the American that the Frenchman was saying, “Hope you enjoy your meal.”

The next day the American sought out the Frenchman to correct his error. After finding him at lunch, at the first opportunity the American raised his glass and said, “Bon appetit.”—to which the Frenchman replied, “Johnson.”

【Lack of Communication】A department-store clerk was demonstrating the efficiency of a window-cleaning device by smearing margarine of glass and cleaning it off again. Quite impressed, one potential customer asked, “How much margarine do I have to use?”

【Example of Lying】At a flower shop in rural West Virginia, Campbell's Creek, an isolated mining hollow, the owner is a chap named Bill Grayolis, 41. A while back Mr. Grayolis lost weight and whispers started around town that he had AIDS. And then there was some graffiti and there were threats, he was labeled a queer, a carrier of AIDS. Customers that he had known for 20 years stopped coming to his store. One long time woman customer drove up and stopped and threw her check inside the flower shop but then she returned hastily to her car and

drove away. Well, that did it. Mr. Grayolis gave up the diet with which he'd purposely been losing weight. He got himself blood-tested for AIDS and proved that he does not have the virus. He posted the medical report on the window of his shop, but the whispers persist. West Virginia Attorney General says shame on the cruel people of Campbell's Creek, but still the whispers persist. Now his delivery van has been trashed, his windows have been smashed, his business is depleted. Bill Grayolis does not have AIDS, but he is being destroyed by contagious ignorance.

【Gossip】Christians don’t gossip. They just share prayer requests!

【Gossip】The difference between news and gossip lies in whether you raise your voice or lower it.

【Gossip】The difference between a gossip and a concerned friend is like the difference between a butcher and a surgeon. Both cut the meat, but for different reasons.

【Gossip】The television program “60 Minutes” once reported on a widely circulated sensational weekly paper and interviewed people who were buying the paper at grocery store checkout counters. “Do you believe what you read in this paper?” the reporter asked. “No,” came the reply, “but we like to read it anyway.”

Gossip holds a strange fascination for all of us.

【Gossip】Some time ago, Dr. Albert H. Cantril, a professor at Princeton University, conducted a series of experiments to demonstrate how quickly rumors spread. He called six students to his office and in strict confidence informed them that the Duke and Duchess of Windsor were planning to attend a certain university dance. Within a week, this completely fictitious story had reached nearly every student on campus. Town officials phoned the university, demanding to know why they had not been informed. Press agencies were frantically telephoning for details. Dr. Cantril observed, “That was a pleasant rumor—a slanderous one travels even faster.”

【Gossip】John Dryden, a seventeenth-century british dramatist and poet, once commented on man’s propensity to gossip:

There is a lust in man no charm can tame,

Of loudly publishing his neighbor’s shame.

Hence, on eagles’ wings immortal scandals fly,

While virtuous actions are but born and die.

【Gossip】In King Henry IV, Shakespeare observed:

Rumor is a pipe

Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures,

And of so easy and so plain a stop

That the blunt monster with uncounted heads,

The still-discordant wavering multitude,

Can play upon it.

And how certain Christians can play that pipe!

【Gossip】The story is told of a young man during the Middle Ages who went to a monk, saying, “I’ve sinned by telling slanderous statements about someone. What should I do now?” The monk replied, “Put a feather on every doorstep in town.” The young man did it. He then returned to the monk, wondering if there was anything else that he should do. The monk said, “Go back and pick up all the feathers.” The young man replied, “That’s impossible! By now the wind will have blown them all over town!” Said the monk, “So has you slanderous word become impossible to retrieve.”

【Lie】A little lie is like a little pregnancy-it doesn’t take long before everyone knows.—C.S. Lewis

【Lie】A lie can travel half way around the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.—Mark Twain

【Lying】A melon farmer’s crop of melons was disappearing fast from his field. Thieves were continually stealing the melons under the cover of night’s darkness. The farmer finally became desperate and in an attempt to save his crop from the vandals he decided to put up a sign.

The sign had on it a skull and crossbones, and it read: “ONE OF THESE WELONS IS POISONED”-only the farmer knew that it was not true.

Sure enough, for two nights not a melon was missing. But, after the third night, the farmer noticed that his sign had been altered. Someone had scratched out the word “ONE” and replaced it with another word so that the sign now read: “TWO OF THESE MELONS ARE POISONED.”

Thinking to save his whole crop through deception, he lost it all, which just goes to illustrate Sir Walter Scott’s observation:

Oh, what a tangled web we weave,

When first we practice to deceive!

【Lying】He said likewise

That a lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies,

That a lie which is all a lie may be met and fought with outright,

But a lie which is part a truth is a harder matter to fight.—Alfred, Lord Tennyson

【Lying】In Mark Twain’s fascinating book about his travels in the West and Hawaii, Roughing It, there is an account of a man, a notorious liar, who was known in the community to be a spinner of tall tales. No one ever believed anything he said. One day they found him hanging dead, with a suicide note pinned on him, written in his own hand, and saying that he had taken his own life. But the coroner’s pronounced it murder. They said that if the man himself said he had taken his own life, it was proof he hadn’t!

【Silence】One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

【Speaking】Blessed are they who have nothing to say and cannot be persuaded to say it.—James Russell Lowell

【Speaking】The six most important words: “I admit I made a mistake.”

The five most important words: “You did a good job.”

The four most important words: “What is your opinion?”

The three most important words: “If you please.”

The two most important words: “Thank you.”

The most important word: “We”.

The least important word: “I”.

【Tongue】This past year, if someone had paid you ten dollars for every kind word you ever spoke about other people, and also collected five dollars for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

【Tongue】I said a very naughty word only the other day.

It was a truly naughty word I had not meant to say.

Bu then, it was not really lost, when from my lips it flew;

My little brother picked it up, and now he says it too.

【Control of Tongue】On a windswept hill in an English country churchyard stands a drab, gray slate tombstone. The faint etchings read:

“Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,

Lies Arabella Young,

Who, on the twenty-fourth of may,

Began to hold her tongue.”

【Control of Tongue】If your lips you would keep from slips,

Five things observe with care:

To whom you speak; of whom you speak;

And how, and when, and where.—William Norris

【Control of Tongue】Some people are too talkative. They are like the young man who supposedly went to the great Greek philosopher Socrates to learn oratory. On being introduced, he talked so incessantly that Socrates asked for double fees. “Why charge me double?” said the young fellow. “Because,” said the orator, “I must teach you two sciences: the one is how to hold your tongue, and the other is how to speak.”

【Control of Tongue】A talkative woman once tried to justify the quickness of her own tongue by saying, “It passes; it is done with quickly.” To which the famous evangelist Billy Sunday replied, “So does a shotgun blast.”

And such is the action of a quick tongue that it also leaves devastation in its wake.

【Control of Tongue】A young lady once said to John Wesley, “I think I know what my talent is.”

Wesley said, “Tell me.”

She replied, “I think it is to speak my mind.”

Wesley said, “I do not think God would mind if you bury that talent.”

【Control of Tongue】The ancient philosopher Zeno once said, “We have two ears and one mouth, therefore we should listen twice as much as we speak.”

【Vows】In the movie Mary Poppins, the two children, Jane and Michael Banks, jumped into bed after their incredible first day with the amazing Mary Poppins. Jane asked, “Mary Poppins, you won’t ever leave us, will you?” Michael, full of excitement, looked at his new nanny and added, “Will you stay if we promise to be good?” Mary looked at the two and as she tucked them in replied, “Look, that’s a pie-crust promise. Easily made, easily broken!”

【Words】Karl Marx supposedly said, “Give me twenty-six lead soldiers and I will conquer the world.”—meaning the twenty-six letters of the alphabet on a printing press.

【Words】Back in 1675, some nine years after the terrible fire in London, Sir Christopher Wren himself laid the first foundation stone in what was to be his greatest architectural enterprise-the building of St. Paul’s Cathedral. It took him thirty-five long years to complete this task, and when it was done he waited breathlessly for the reaction of her majesty, Queen Anne. After being carefully shown through the structure, she summed up her feelings for the architecture in three words: “It is awful; it is amusing; it is artificial.”

Imagine how you would feel if words like these were used to describe the work of your life! However, Sir Christopher Wren’s biographer said that on hearing these words, he heaved a sigh of relief and bowed gratefully before his sovereign. How could this be? The explanation is simple: In 1710, the word awful meant “awe-inspiring,” the word amusing meant “amazing,” and the word artificial meant “artistic.” What to our ears might sound like a devastating criticism were in that time words of measured praise.

There is no doubt a lesson in that story for those who would quibble over the relative merits of the various Bible versions and translations. Shades of meaning cannot alter what God has revealed in his Word!